One of the reasons it took so long for us (for me) to make the decision to have Zucchini move out was I wanted to feel that we had done everything we could. Just as much for my own peace of mind as for her.
I sat in on a staffing with Zucchini and listened to the professionals report. Her, bouncing all around, silly putty sticking to the table & chairs. Me, feeling out of body, sitting next to her biomom.
She went to a residential treatment center for a 30-60 day evaluation, and they are recommending at least a 4-6 month stay. Their current diagnosis includes “probable” Reactive Attachment Disorder, and said progress would be slow going.
I think a part of me feared going to the meeting and hearing reports about simply a bright, funny, artistic girl. Leaving one more meeting feeling inept as a parent. But, these professionals have had the same issues we had.
I know that we made the right decision. We could not save Z.
We have spoken to Zucchini on the phone, and sent packages to her. We plan to continue to be part of her support system.
Carrot is more peaceful and relaxed. She is finally feeling safe enough to tell us some of the things she found scary when Z was here. The first time Zucchini called, Carrot hung up on her. Twice. And after two months, finally wanted to color a picture to send to her.
After parenting Zucchini, two kids feel like a piece of cake. Croi and I are enjoying our evenings as adults, and have caught up on our quality telivision.
In fact, things are so calm here, we think we should open our house up for another baby this summer 😉