Weight of it All

There are days when the number of unknowns is overwhelming.

TPR trial is scheduled to start next week, but will probably be postponed. Apparently, in family court, it is common practice to “schedule” more trials than will actually occur.  So, trial dates don’t amount to much. We have been subpoenaed, and have a babysitter set up, but are waiting to hear if we will move from the number two spot. So close to steps toward finality, but so far.

When I first started writing this, it was when Zucchini was admitted to a wonderful neighborhood school, but Carrot wasn’t yet admitted. So, close, yet so far away. Not five minutes after we left our tour, someone else withdrew their child from a kindergarten spot! The secretary called us, and said, “I got chills. It was fate.” I pray the softer, familylike Montessori environment will be nourishing for them.

I had to remind myself that at this point, the kids don’t know how many things are up in the air, but their little bodies must feel it somewhere.

We met with the kids’ mom and felt the weight of it all. She is being encouraged to think about voluntary termination, as a trial is not looking good for her. She wants to know that she will be able to see her kids after termination. I can’t imagine all the weight she is feeling.

Croi and I had a lot more coping skills to use during the meeting, and are standing on firmer ground.  And we still went for Bloody Mary’s afterward.


About EratMama

30 something midwestern gal, married to another 30 something midwestern gal, conquering depression, rockin' foster parent.
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2 Responses to Weight of it All

  1. 2mommies2be says:

    I hear you. Sometimes, during meetings, I’d sit next to mom instead of A. I just couldnt bear to see her alone on her side of the table. It wasn’t much but it was all I could think of to do.

    That sensitivity and respect you have for their mother is an eternal gift you have given your children.

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