Rock and a Hard Place

If anyone is looking for us, I think our new address might be right in between that rock and hard place, in questioning valley.

We planned to take all three kids on our first family camping trip last weekend. There were some changes in the case. Visits are being reduced to once a week (from 2x/week for the girls and 3x week for Pumpkin). We say Halle-frickin-lujah! Visits were not being well supervised and we had some concerns about the kids safety.

But, a lot for Zucchini to process.

After a blunt conversation with our social worker, we decided the trip would be too triggering for Zucchini at this time. With her increased anxiety level comes an increased fear of and reaction to bugs. The odds of her having a major meltdown in a public park were pretty great. Our social worker was very concerned about the police in a rural, predominantly white area reacting to an African American girl from the city.

As Croi said, it would be like throwing her in the deep end of the pool when she doesn’t have the skills to swim yet.

But, we want her to feel like a part of the family. Want her to know that whatever she is going through, we are here for her.

We took Pumpkin and Carrot–a first time for both of them– and the first time for us, camping as parents–and they were rock stars. Carrot can’t wait to go again and tells anyone who asks (and a few who don’t ask.)

But, as we were sitting around the campsite, it didn’t feel like our “first family camping trip.”  We missed her.


About EratMama

30 something midwestern gal, married to another 30 something midwestern gal, conquering depression, rockin' foster parent.
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One Response to Rock and a Hard Place

  1. mommie2be says:

    I think it speaks volumes that she was missed. I can imagine how hard these decisions are, but you are making them so thoughtfully and carefully – its inspiring to watch. hang in there, the day will come 🙂

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