In a few hours, I will drive to pick up Zucchini for another weekend visit. Overall, the visits are going very well. But, I must admit, I have a sinking feeling of dread.
Carrot has her tantrums, but things are pretty easy with just Carrot and Pumpkin. After Zucchini’s hour long screaming tantrum in the parking lot of the beach, I am thinking about how much we second guess ourselves when she is here. Are we being too harsh? Too lenient? How much is emotional that she can’t control? What part of her behavior is within her control?
I have heard that the biggest adjustment in parenting is going from zero to one child. That’s when your lifestyle switches. Then, for each child added things don’t get doubly or triply as difficult, but rather just more layered. So, hypothetically, the D.uggars are barely feeling that 19th child. I don’t think that’s true for foster children. Zucchini triggers Carrot–suddenly she feels neglected and is acting out. Her big sister won’t eat vegetables (or really much of anything) so my little foodie suddenly becomes a picky eater. And poor Pumpkin just gets shuffled to whatever parent isn’t dealing with a crisis at the moment.