Unfair System

Zucchini has been on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist for nine months. After a previous home took her off of medication they did not see a need for, she has been waiting nine months to see a psychiatrist and get back on medication.

Since March of this year.

This March? Pumpkin’s mom was barely two months pregnant. Now he’s smiling and babbling away.

This March? We hadn’t yet even gone to our first foster parent meeting or filled out any paperwork. Since then, we’ve attended new parent orientation, completed classes, had several home study visits, gotten fingerprinted, licensed, received three phone calls, and have a baby.

Zucchini has some pretty big behaviors, that she is being asked to deal with on her own. She is punished for these behaviors and not really given support to help her be able to control them.

Sadder than that, is that her life is being decided. Without her.

We may not be able to parent a child with these behaviors. They may just be over our head. They scare me to my core. They may take too much of a toll on us individually, on me with my depression, on us as a couple. We may need to say no.

But, if this system had helped this little girl get the treatment she so desperately needed nine months ago, what would her behavior be like now? Because something in the system is so messed up, this little girl may soon be considered “unadoptable.”

As a person who fought for so long to get the treatment I needed, you bet this mama bear is going to fight to help Zucchini get the treatment she needs. In our house or not, I want her to have a life full of options.

About EratMama

30 something midwestern gal, married to another 30 something midwestern gal, conquering depression, rockin' foster parent.
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7 Responses to Unfair System

  1. K says:

    This kind of thing is so frustrating. We as a society are FAILING these children, and you are amazing to fight for her whether or not she is in your home. More kids need advocates, and it kills me that these are the programs we take money from first. And we wonder why kids who age out of the foster system end up statistically more likely to be homeless, end up in jail, or perpetuate a cycle of poverty. I imagine this all weighs heavily on you as you parent pumpkin and I am in awe of your capacity to process it all.

  2. mommie2be says:

    If these kids dont have an advocate, they are done for. I’m so glad she has one in you.

  3. Mandy(Katie) says:

    I remember CT saying something about there not being resources/therapists/docs that accept Medicaid for these kiddos. Is that the case for your state, too?

    • EratMama says:

      There is a huge shortage of doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists who are willing to treat patients with public insurance. Therefore, the “good ones” (or really, all of them) have a waiting list to get in. For Zucchini, I think it is this problem, combined with some apathy, that is letting her fall through the cracks. She/Pumpkin/We/The whole case is getting a new caseworker Jan 1–and you bet this is on the top of my January goals!

  4. Monica says:

    And here it goes… you are doing great Mama. You’ve so got this 🙂 You’re a natural.

  5. Lex says:

    Zucchini is lucky to have you as an advocate. So sad about the system. So sad that it is the same everywhere…

  6. sciencedino says:

    Yeah, it seems crazy how hard it is for foster children to get adequate mental healthcare. The child we’re interviewing for (for a pre-adoptive placement) has had psych evals recommending 5 types of therapy. And he’s only ever gotten one type, and intermittently. I foresee some out of pocket psych costs if we can’t get him to a covered provider fast enough.

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