If not us, who?

Oldest sister breaks my heart. Croi has met her a handful of times (during visit transportation) and I have met her twice. But she is part of my thoughts frequently.

What are the possibilities that this girl will have a good outcome from this situation?

She is 9. Nine. At nine I was running barefoot between houses, worried who I would sit by at lunch, loving my family.

She has been in several unstable environments and been bounced around in foster care for several years.  Her current foster family sounds like a great fit–stable, loving, firm, good members of the community, giving her access to a lot of opportunities. But, she’s “too old” and they don’t want to adopt her.  Her foster parents have another placement, a 7 year old girl, who they are willing to adopt. Can you imagine being told your foster sister is being adopted and you are not?

We were originally told that we might be asked to take placement of 4 year old sister. There would be some challenges, but we would most likely say yes to her.

But a nine year old with attachment issues?  Yikes.  How can we say we would be open to adopting her two siblings, but not her?  I know how it feels to feel not good enough, damaged, defective.

Pumpkin is in my heart. If he is in my home permanently or not is still to be decided. But, he is forever my family. And my family just grew exponentially. His family is my family.

But, can I help her? I don’t know.

 

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About EratMama

30 something midwestern gal, married to another 30 something midwestern gal, conquering depression, rockin' foster parent.
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6 Responses to If not us, who?

  1. K says:

    I don’t know what I would do either. But. Your question of can you help her? I think that answer is yes. If you commit to her, then you’ve already helped her. And what will happen next who knows, but she will know that someone cares enough to WANT her.

    I can only imagine the anxiety you are feeling right now.

  2. mommie2be says:

    Such a hard, hard, position to be in. Surely, there is no easy answer. I’ll be thinking of you as you wrestle with this – and am always here if you need a sounding board.

  3. Carrie says:

    Foster care is heartbreaking, isn’t it? You and Croi seem to be going in to this with your eyes and ears open as well as your hearts, which I’m sure will lead you to a good decision. Are there any opportunities to get to know her better – talking with the current foster parents, visits, etc.?

  4. seattlegirl says:

    I just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and Croi as you navigate this time and the changes as you move forward.

  5. Monica says:

    As I read this, I think y’all totally get this. And you’re made for it. This is exactly what pumpkin needs. And exactly what his family needs. Someone willing to love them, even if it doesn’t mean forever. I’m so glad you are there, loving well, willing.

  6. Lex says:

    So tough. I have so much respect for you guys and what you’re doing. Take care.

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