Abstract v. Reality

I was so much more okay with all of this in the abstract than in the reality.

In the abstract, seeing a foster child visit his mom was difficult, but provided a sense of comfort in his origins. In the reality, the words about “real family” hurt.

In the abstract, one of us transporting him to his visits provided comfort in the transition and helped ease everyone’s minds, and shorten his commute time.   (This is a common practice in our county.) In reality, I am not sure that my presence helps anyone feel better, especially Pumpkin. It might make everyone feel worse.

I know after my first time transporting him, handing him directly to his mom, and her handing him back to me, watching his older sisters be upset, having the visitation worker ask me about changing visitation day in front of mom, I know I felt worse.

In the abstract, “good parents have lots of information about their child’s family.” In reality, I am not sure that more information helps me to be a better parent.


About EratMama

30 something midwestern gal, married to another 30 something midwestern gal, conquering depression, rockin' foster parent.
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2 Responses to Abstract v. Reality

  1. Shannie Shan says:

    It’s hard, very, very hard. I’m thinking of you and your family.

  2. Monica says:

    This is really good. And true. The first few visits are always the toughest.

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