I think we are lead to believe that pregnant women are nesting, hormonal, worried, or otherwise odd due to hormones. I think this is load of crap.
People about to undergo arguably the biggest change of their lives are overwhelmed because… well, it’s overwhelming.
Of COURSE we’re excited. Of course we love the onesies, and the sleepsacks, and the tiny crib sheets.
But, there are days, when it all hits me. What are we doing? Things will never be the same. Am I prepared for this? I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m tired now. What will I do with two sleepless little ones?
And it starts to circle in my head. And it feels depressingly, anxiously familiar. Which intensifies everything. Making me question–What ARE we doing? Am I so out of touch for thinking I can do this?
Until my favorite has a similar day. I reassure her, and realize all the things I am saying to myself. That everyone feels anxious when they are pregnant. Just because we’re not pregnant doesn’t mean it’s all harps and angels singing.
A friend lent us a book about sleep in children. (one of the Baby Whisperer ones) I’ve been reading it, and started to panic. There is so much to consider. If we soothe too often, they become dependent. If we don’t soothe enough, they won’t trust us. Who knows what they will have been exposed to. What is reasonable to ask of a two year old who has been to 4 different homes in his short little life? How can we ask him to stay in his bed?
After some panic, I put the book down for awhile.
Croi and I talked and realized that our first goal will just be to help the child feel safe and attached. When we make mistakes, and we will make plenty, let us remember that goal.
All the rest will come later.