Ellie’s Random Crap

I’ve been feeling a little funnier lately.  Which, for me, is really big.  Just feeling lighter and not so worried about what everyone will say.  I had the last of the holiday parties this weekend at our house, and laughed more this weekend than I have in a very long time.  I mean big, belly, throw your head back, obnoxious laughed.  It was great.

For me, one of the keys to staying healthy–physically and emotionally–is not taking myself too seriously.

Other people have commented on my “witty-ness.” (Their word, not mine). And, interestingly, a few unrelated people have said that I should start a blog.  Ha! I just did. I guess the universe is supporting this next step.  I said “I don’t have a talent to share–what would I call it–Ellie’s random crap?” (To which, only my mother would reply—“Yes–you’re funny!”)

I’ll share with you the main thing that has been getting positive reviews around here lately.  I am NOT a runner. But, my favorite is, and many friends and family are. This video has been circulating on facebook. Maybe you’ve seen it?

Runners are Misunderstood

I thought this was a little short, and missed some of the talk of the  training process.  I have added a bit of the dialogue I think should be in there. If you are a runner, or live with a runner, I hope you find these additions funny.

• I am going to eat a protein bar now. This new brand I found has 76 grams of protein, I really wish it had 80… grams. It still has 1 gram of sugar.
• I logged my short run in my running log this morning. A running log is great. It helps you keep track of how many miles you have run, what pace, what the wind condition was like, and how many mailboxes you ran past.
• I bought a new pair of running shoes, but I don’t know when I am going to start using them. You are supposed to get a new pair of shoes every 3000 miles. According to my running log, I have currently run 2994.2 miles in these shoes. I could use my new shoes for my long run on Saturday, but then I will be at 3024.2 miles. Also, I am afraid of getting blisters.
• Would you like to come to my house for breakfast on Sunday? Well, I have to run 18.6 miles that morning—I am doing intervals—so then, when I come home, I should really do some stretching and some strength training. And I like to have a protein shake 22 minutes after running. So, maybe I could come to your house around 5pm. We could eat a salad with chicken?
• Tomorrow I have to do hills—15 miles of just running up and down hills. “What do your neighbors think when they see you running back and forth for several hours?” “It’s not back and forth, it’s up and down. A hill. That’s why they are called hills. And I do it from 4-5am. It only takes me one hour before work and the non-runners are not up yet.”
• Did you watch Lost on TV last night? I was running, I don’t watch TV, I am very busy running and training for a marathon, you know.
• I got this new water bottle for Christmas, it measures how much water I drink. I need to drink a lot of water because I am training for a marathon.
• Do you like this new shirt I got? It only cost $459, but it’s really great. It can wick sweat and makes me not smelly. It has a sensor that notices when other people are too close to me, and so it beeps so they get out of the way. It has fans in the armpits, so the shirt really isn’t expensive for what it is. It’s an investment.
• Oh, I just felt my toenail come off. “What?” Oh, yes, it is very common for runners to lose their toenails. “Many people lose parts of their body when running, and you keep doing it?”
• I think this is one of the best shirts I’ve ever gotten running. It only has 17 logos on it, covering half of the shirt. It’s bright blue, and it was free! “It was free?” Yes, when you register to run a race you get a T-shirt from the event. “I like free T-shirts..” Yes, you should register for races! You would like running. Be a runner. There is a race next week, it only costs $125 to register, but you get a really cool T-shirt. You’d be a great runner. Well, you’d hate it most of the time, but you should do it. Be a runner.
My favorite two comments in response:
  • Ellie, your comments were hilarious! I was laughing so hard my sides are hurting. They best feel better by tomorrow so my long run isn’t affected. (Deb)
  • For $459, however, I’m thinking that the nipple guard feature should be included…
  • “Nipple guards? Oh yeah, many marathoners run so long that their nipples bleed from the abrasion from their running tops.  Nipple guards prevents this AND they’re quite the fashion statement!  My father likes to wear an extra set on his neck to look like Frankenstein. (Bill)

Enjoy whatever it is makes you laugh & don’t take yourself too seriously.  The best compliment is when friends and family appreciate you for who you are.

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About EratMama

30 something midwestern gal, married to another 30 something midwestern gal, conquering depression, rockin' foster parent.
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One Response to Ellie’s Random Crap

  1. tetrault says:

    You ARE very funny! Glad you are feeling lighter and funnier. It’s amazing how the dark cloud sucks that out of one because to let yourself be funny you have to have the confidence to not care about what people think. I have several marathon runners in my family. I can’t wait to share this with them and their loved ones. Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny indeed.

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