Fresh Air

I don’t know if it is all the actual fresh air we got yesterday riding bikes outside our house, or the fact that I let Carrot skip her homework yesterday, or the deep talks we have been having, or the extra movie and snuggle time last night, but man, when your six year old finally wakes up in a good mood, it is like a breath of fresh air.

Happy Saturday!

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Never worry about the first night

Lesson learned:

Don’t worry if new kid falls asleep on the couch way too late watching TV, and never actually makes it to his bed. It’s not worth disturbing the toddler for a boy who may only be here less than 24 hours later.

Although I am skeptical that the safety plan put in place will be effective, I am happy Flash (named for his speed & love of superheroes, but he was here and gone in a flash) was reunited with his family.

Oh, and I guess I better stage a picture the *first* night because it might be the only night! No mementos of Flash’s sweet smile.

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Placement Office, I am on to you

You know we are NOT on the list for respite, right?

But, you call us for TWO boys that we don’t have the physical space for. We feel bad.

The next day, you call us for “just” one five year old boy, for probably a week. Maybe more.

Of course we say yes to that smiley boy.  Flash arrived in the evening, running around like a superhero.

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Later That Day

I wasn’t sure what Carrot’s mood would be like as I picked her up from school the day I told her we were adopting her.  Conveniently, she had a therapy session scheduled that day, and, we have many of our best conversations in the car.

She told me she told her friends about the adoption and they were so excited for her.

And, because she is my daughter, an anxious planner, she started asking questions about what we would do that day, and wanting a minute by minute plan.

She asked me, “Are we going to have an adoption party? Could I invite two friends from school?  Can I wear a fancy dress?”  Oh, child, you could ask me anything you wanted right now, and I would say yes.

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Adoption is Born from Tragedy

At 8:15 this morning, our social worker called me from the District Attorney’s office to say no appeal had been filed–we are good to go on our adoption date!

March 27th, we are adopting our kids!!!

I asked three ways, “how sure are you?” “positive.” “What could make this NOT happen?” “Nothing.”

We weren’t going to tell Carrot for a few weeks (to make sure there were no hiccups, and because six weeks is too long for a six year old to dwell on it), but I was crying on the phone and she knew something was up. I hung up the phone, sat on the kitchen floor in front of her and Pumpkin, and said, “On March 27th, in about six weeks, we are going to adopt you!”

The next two minutes were everything I hoped they would be.  Carrot gasped, took it in, gave me the longest hug, and said, “Pumpkin, too?”  And did the “adoption dance, adoption dance” in the kitchen with her brother.

She asked, “I wonder if we are going to adopt the Boxer, too?”  “I don’t know honey. We aren’t going to know that for a long time. But, we are adopting you and Pumpkin.”

Then she asked, “Who else knows? Does Mommy (Croi) know?” I told her Croi didn’t know–because I just found out, and asked if she wanted to call Mommy herself.

“Does Mom F (biomom) know?”  “Yes, I think she does.”  She got said, and asked if we could see Mom F again, maybe at Christmastime (“in the morning, like this year”)  Sure, honey.

She called Croi, which was adorable.

During breakfast she said, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

I told her I was sad for Mom F, too.  And asked if I could sit with her and be sad. So, we ate breakfast in silence. I thought about the saying, “all adoption is born from tragedy,” and hoping the six weeks gives her enough time to be (mostly) just happy by adoption day. I was so proud of her for realizing her mixed emotions and telling me about them right away.

Someday, I hope she just gets to have simple emotions instead of such mixed messy ones.


make this place your home

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This is Progress

Received word today that a “no merit” finding was finally issued in our case. Biomom has 30 days to appeal this to the state supreme court. If February 8th comes, and no appeal, we can actually set an adoption date. 

Some girls doodle in their notebooks hypothetical married names, I admit to doodling my kids new names. 

I imagine a lot of things about our adoption day, but what I imagine most is telling Carrot we actually have a date set. I can’t wait to see her face light up. 

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The Boxer with Boxes

It’s no surprise that the boxer celebrated Christmas with us. What started as an emergency placement, quickly turned to a regular placement. And he is such an easy baby, that’s fine by us!  He slept until 8am yesterday! (I whisper to him that he is gonna be my favorite 😉

What was beautiful was how seamlessly he fit into our extended family’s Christmas celebration. 

Now, only in the Hora house are there “presentizers”–tiny presents to open before the presents. 

And only in the Hora house would we tear up at them.  My parents got us an ornament with the Boxer’s name, and the tag said, “to remember.” 

My mom made sure to say that the ornament was for us to keep, not send to his biological family when he returns home. He is our first “long term placement that will be reunified” and it touched me that our families understand that although we chose this, it will be difficult. 



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